I'm An Open Book Instead
by AiriKatsu
Summary: He's always been the level-headed one, but working with Lee for a year has changed him in ways he isn't quite sure he fully understands yet. Now he's alone on Christmas, wondering how he'll ever face his co-worker. Rated M, LeeGaara. Moderate CSI plot.


Alternate Universe, hopefully no one will call this PWP because the actual story was a novel… It was supposed to be a whole kickass series that was loosely like CSI.

Basic story: They've been partners for a year, at first they didn't get along but after a while they find that they somehow do. Gaara plays by the rules and Lee breaks them all, and the story revolves around them solving crimes. Gaara is a guns expert and has the best aim out of everyone, Lee uses martial arts and was originally a police officer. Ect…

I, by no way, make any profit or gain from the writing and displaying of this fiction. I claim no rights over the anime Naruto, and this is properly owned by Kishimoto. I also do not claim rights to the idea of CSI.

xXx

Christmas Eve.

It was supposed to be a time spent with family; with laughter, with beautifully decorated homes, with homey scents, with people you love. It was the day before the most expensively and supposedly pleasant holiday of the year; one of two that celebrated the end of the year for most countries around the world. People all sat around each other basking in the warmth of love and comfort.

That was what the rest of his family and friends were doing out at one of his co-worker's houses. There would be alcohol involved if Naruto had anything to do with it. He was sure everyone was laughing about either his or someone else's antics as they sat around the meticulously placed couches. He could see everyone making a visual effort to keep the tone light and comfortable, trying to ignore the stressful and tiring situation they had all been in a mere week before.

He should have gone, he should be there celebrating the fact that his partner wasn't dead and they managed to get there in time before that deranged psycho-path had put a bullet in his head. The partner he had been assigned to about a year ago before that, the partner he wasn't supposed to have grown so attached to.

For nearly two months he had lived in a dark hole called an office. If he hadn't been there staring at the evidence or at a computer screen he was running all over town in the patrol car looking for some kind of clue to where the damn martial artist had been or was. He had re-walked his steps a million times from that night; the thirty-first of October, the night that Lee had been abducted while on duty. He hadn't slept in weeks; he had seen the passing of time as a curse instead of a blessing. Every day he wasn't getting closer was a day Lee was getting further away. He couldn't stop for a second and think that there was a chance he was dead; he would never accept it.

There had been as many breakthroughs as dead ends. Just when they were on the verge of finding him they would find an abandoned house or building with a message written in blood; mocking them to keep looking. There would be a single small blood spatter in the same room; it was never from a bullet but always from a knife being quickly slashed across skin. The blood was always Lee's.

The irrational side of him feared that, somehow, the CSI was running out of blood. The fourth time it happened he let one shard of emotion seep through when he hit the wall. His superior had reprimanded him, telling him that may have cost them some valuable evidence when everyone knew this guy was too smart to leave anything behind. She had threatened him with the case; she swore that one more mishap and he would be on leave with no pay until he could put himself back together.

It was then that he started realizing his emotions were getting in the way of the case. His supervisor was only stressed because one of her best CSI's was in the care of a murderer but _he_ was always coolheaded. He was known for his level and detached demeanor.

Lee had reduced him to a rookie who couldn't do anything but run around in _circles_.

He had gone home for the first time that night and dreamt of horrors he would never tell anyone; but when he woke up he dove back into the case with vigor again; this time taking a different approach.

The fifth time they had caught them by surprise; he was starting to figure out the twisted clues the bastard had been leaving them in blood. That time he had seen a glimpse of Lee- hope in knowing that skin color was a little pale but definitely still alive but then dread in being sure the next time would be their last chance.

He would always go back to that one night every time he began feeling like there was nothing left to look at. They should have known there was someone on the inside making sure that they took the call on one of the only nights of the year where homicide could be mistaken for a costume or elaborate make-up. They had been warned that something was going to happen; the man was going to get even for them locking up his partner-in-crime. There had been attempts before then; attempts that they had dodged and brushed off like it hadn't scared them witless.

Gaara had never been scared like this in his entire life; and his father had tried to kill him multiple times.

The day they rescued him there was an on-coming thunderstorm which was all the cover they needed. Lee had finally been awake long enough so the drugs they had been injecting him with had worn off and he had just finished untying himself when his abductor had walked into the room. He pretended to be unconscious as the man rambled on about he would kidnap another investigator to play with; he was growing bored of the martial artist. Lee jumped him; grabbing the gun and the knife; effectively knocking the man out- or so he thought.

Running as fast as he could in his weak form he made it into the main lobby of an old factory of sorts to be blocked by ten men with guns. Somehow the person he had just beaten into submission was standing before him, gun raised with a wicked grin on his face.

"It appears as though your clock will soon stop ticking Mr. Investigator."

An ominous sound of another gun cocking filled everyone's ears, but Lee nearly dropped his own gun when he saw who it was. A bead of sweat dripped down his captor's neck when he realized the sound had come from directly behind him.

"I think it's yours that will be stopping, Kimimaro." A pause and then a tell-tale smirk curled up the red-head's lips, "you're all under arrest, and before you try to shoot me, you can all look around through the windows at the SWAT who are ready to kill you if you so much as twitch."

Before Lee had even made it out of the building and been enveloped in a huge bear hug by Tsunade his partner, who had just saved his ass, was gone along with his best friend Tenten.

And he wouldn't see him again until after Christmas; he had demanded a week off as soon as the premises had been secured. He had then taken off in a police car without so much as a word to the person he had relentlessly spent two months trying to save.

Which brought Gaara back to Christmas Eve and the fact that there was no way he could face Lee Iwa without killing him himself. This was because he had come to one conclusion in his desperate attempts to save him.

He cared way to damn much.

So he was taking a stand on his emotions; he wasn't sure if that was possible but if it was then that was what he was doing. He would not see his stupid, happy-go-lucky, charming, optimistic partner until he was sure he had steeled himself over enough to not be affected by him in the slightest. He would not let any or all dreams he had been having for the past four or so months be given any possibility to become realities. That meant no emotional attachment whatsoever.

So far all that meant was him having a shower and walking around his apartment with just pants on looking for a clean shirt to wear. It was his apartment and he could walk around naked for all he pleased but he was sure he was going to get a visit from his sister later on that evening demanding to know why he was avoiding work (I'm not, I took time off. Ask Tsunade), why he wasn't spending time with his family (the door is always open; I don't feel like going out), where he disappeared off to after the fact (I had very important case matters to discuss with Agent Minami… Tenten?), and why he was avoiding everyone (I am not avoiding anyone, I wish to be by myself.).

He was ready for her; the only problem was he needed a shirt.

He stopped abruptly in his search and his thoughts of needing to do some laundry when a folded up white shirt caught his eye on the back of the chair near the wall. He didn't quite remember why it was there, but he knew that it looked wearable and upon further inspection was pristine. He threw the button-up shirt on and proceeded to begin buttoning it up.

He heard the footsteps up to his front door before the jingle of keys could be heard. He gave up on the last few buttons, but just as he was walking into the kitchen he realized what was so _off _about what he was wearing. How could he have not noticed it before? The shirt was a couple sizes too big, and he had to roll the sleeves up to his elbows.

It all came back to him.

Lee had given him this shirt after his had been cut from a knife-wielding ex-wife of a deceased CEO. He had put it on that chair, cleaned, so he could give it back to him when the next opportunity arose. Now he was wearing the shirt of the one person he was trying to forget. Oh, the fucking** irony**.

The door handle turned and he was too busy staring up at the ceiling asking whatever gods wanted to look at his poor, pitiful form and help him get through the next twenty or so minutes of fighting with his sister in full knowledge he was in Lee's shirt. He wasn't even close to religious, either. He closed his eyes and waited, letting his head fall back to normal as he was sure Temari had just clicked the lock shut and was about to turn the corner into the kitchen.

He decided to speak first as she took off her shoes. "Temari, go back to the party." He turned towards the counter and quickly grabbed the abduction case contents off it, stuffing them into a folder as he heard footfalls finally enter the kitchen. "I'm not going so…" he trailed off as he turned around to address her.

The files fell from his hands, spilling across the floor.

There were no words being screamed at him, no annoyed expressions that she was so well known for, no hands on her hips, no blonde hair done up for the party, no _Temari_. Instead his heart started thundering in his chest; ice seemed to fall upon him; successfully waking him up to more alert than he had been in weeks.

Gaara stopped breathing, unable to make his body work even as his visitor crossed the kitchen to him. He should have done something, moved out of the way, started picking up the mess he made as he thought about what to say, _something_. Instead he was too startled to know how to properly react when they reached out, cupped the back of his head, and leaned down to kiss him.

When Lee's lips made contact with his a tight coil in his chest seemed to snap. This sent searing heat down his body and mixing in an _almost_ unpleasant manner in his stomach. The lips were so warm, and in an instant another arm was around him, nearly pushing their bodies flush up against each other. He went from frigid cold to melting in a matter of seconds and it was taking his mind a couple minutes to catch up to just what was going on.

What his body knew was that it didn't want it to stop, and the traitorous appendages called arms lifted up to fist in Lee's clothes; effectively giving him permission to take one step forward, which backed Gaara up the two or so inches up to the counter. It wasn't until he felt Lee's teeth just graze his top lip that he was suddenly able to have enough mental clarity to use the hands against the other man's chest to shove him away. Lee merely stumbled back one step and stayed stubbornly in his personal space, still close enough to lean in and kiss him again.

A million words came crashing into him; so much filled his head that he was sure it was going to send him into insanity. They both waited in the ringing silence until Gaara pushed the heel of his hand into his face and mentally berated himself for acting so stupidly.

He should have told him to leave the first second it registered in his mind that it was LEE at the door not his damn sister. What had he been doing; actually kissing him back? What did that say for the past week of trying to avoid him and getting his head on straight? His resolve had completely crumbled as soon as his colleague had touched him.

He couldn't let him do that again, "what are you doing here?"

He tried to sound angry, menacing, and even narrowed his eyes. He just made one mistake; making eye contact in order to see the emotions swirling around in the other's eyes. He was pretty sure he should fear that look; it meant he was about to be pushed up against a wall and kissed again. The look passed and Lee took another small step back to give him some space to breathe.

"I'm here for you."

He replied honestly, like it was the simplest thing in the world. He let his arms drop to his sides and watched the red-head's expression turn from shocked to an unsure one. Gaara looked to the side and tried to ignore the effect those words had on him, he was attempting to gather the last of his reserves to fight Lee off.

He turned on his heel and took a few steps away from him, entering the living room and stopping right in front of the bedroom door when he heard the other man follow him. He sighed and turned around, rubbing his forehead in sheer exasperation. This was not how the remainder of the night was supposed to go.

The thought of running over to the front entrance around the other side of the living room struck him, but that was quickly squelched by the reminder that Lee could out-run and over-power him any day.

Why didn't he have his gun?

The only way he could ever hope of getting him to leave was to convince him to go away, or to hear him out and then shoot down whatever it was he had to discuss with him. He'd just act like the heartless bastard he knew he could be until Lee gave up for the night and went home to spend Christmas with his friends.

"What do you want?" He crossed his arms across his chest, leaning against the wall right before the bedroom door. He was watching Lee for any sudden movements; he would not let him do anything like before. He was also calculating how he could get into the room and grab his weapon without the other CSI noticing, or catching on. "I'm still on vacation until tomorrow night." He clarified quickly, he didn't want Lee to think of some stupid case that would allow him to stay and talk.

Instead of the normal responses he was once again startled with an act of uncharacteristic pushiness as Lee rolled his eyes and slammed his hand beside Gaara's head. He had him on one side, now his cool façade was wavering, and he couldn't quite make his eyes meet the auburn ones. "Lee, what the hell do you think you're doing?" His voice was far too quiet; he was petrified to speak because now Lee was dangerously close again.

"I'm not apologizing, Gaara. Not tonight."

It was the way he said it, like he would but there was something more important he had to do first. The conviction in his voice; he knew exactly what he had come there for and there was no way in hell he was going to leave. Gaara swallowed thickly, making sure not to look up as he turned his head to the side and pushed Lee's hand away from the wall.

"You need to leave." His hands were now gripping the shirt tightly, and he could feel himself trembling slightly, he was not about to give in like this. He had never backed down before with Lee, he was not a push over. They had been bumping heads since the moment they were assigned on the same case and he shouldn't be letting the martial artist push his feelings around like this.

He had tried to understand how Lee made him feel and he still didn't know for sure but he _did_ know that most crime scene investigators did not make out with their partners. He knew this was what Tenten had told him about during that initial drive when they had left Lee in the custody of Tsunade and the rest of the team.

She had explained that Tsunade hadn't split them up so that Gaara and Temari could work with them separately and 'show them the ropes'. Tenten had told Tsunade that if she had to work with her best friend again she would quit. She told Gaara she was surprised he had lasted that long. It was as soon as they two of them started their cheerful (on Lee's part) and sarcastic (on Gaara's part) bickering that she knew it wouldn't be long before she was having this talk with the gun's expert.

She explained that she loved Lee as much as any sister could, but she could no longer deal with the constant terror she felt when he dove head first into danger and she had to bail him out. He had driven her nearly insane and she knew he needed a strong partner; someone who wouldn't put up with his crap and would play by the book. Lee was far too good of a CSI for her to complain of his constant lack of self preservation and he _did_ take his job seriously. Somehow he just took it way too _far_; he got too involved with the justice and emotions so quickly that he was jumping in front of bullets and going up against dangerous criminals all for complete strangers. It was his charm as well as his curse. No one had ever _hated_ Lee once they got to know him.

In high school he hadn't been the most attractive person ever, and even though he had a rough childhood with bullies, he never lifted a finger for himself. The only time he used his insane strength, from constant daily taijustu and intense training regimen, was when someone else was in trouble.

"_It was how he won over his first girlfriend too- don't worry we all just fall for his stupid charisma._" She had chuckled softly as her eyes had glazed over from unseen memories.

And back to the present: Lee was forcing him to pull an reply out of nowhere that he didn't have yet.

"Go home. I don't have any answers yet."

He hated himself after saying that, because he had just given away that he had been thinking about it, which was a loophole in his shield just screaming to be torn at until it was a huge gaping space to stick a hand through.

Lee actually sounded exasperated; he had never known Lee to lose his patience in these types of situations. He didn't know if he should be excited about that or not, though. "Gaara, you _always_ have the answers, you're just scared of admitting it this time."

Just like that; simple and clean.

"You…" He stared at him in complete disbelief as Lee took another step closer, "Lee, leave me alone!" He raised his voice, and didn't know where the firm sound in his tone came from but as surprised as he was at the feat, Lee didn't seem deterred at all. "All you do-" he jabbed his finger at Lee's chest, his eyes fiery in accusation, "-is throw your life into danger and expect your partner to have this…" He stopped and waved his hand around looking for the words, "_emotional capacity_ to not only save your **suicidal** ass but to find a way to _emotionally justify_ their actions."

His voice was reduced to a whisper when he was once again against the door, with two hands now on either side of his head and the broad shoulders boxing him in. He was now sharing oxygen, as the martial artist's forehead was against his. "I told you I wouldn't apologize tonight." Lee reminded him.

"If I had my gun I would shoot you." A small puff against his cheek as Lee laughed softly.

"I have no doubts you would."

"I _hate_ you." Figures that as soon as he gives in he regains the old iciness to his voice.

"You're doing a _great job_ resisting me."

For once he had no response; Lee being so close was starting to peel away at the small amount of struggle he had left. He was very sure that another kiss would be the end of him and any discussion they could possibly have for the rest of the night.

"We… should discuss this." He sighed against Lee's barely touching lips, but they both knew that meant only one thing.

"We will," there was a smile in the taller man's voice as he pressed a chaste kiss to his partner's lips before pulling back to say, "in the morning. I have to do this first."

Even if Gaara could think of something clever to say in response he recognized it would make no difference. Instead he stayed silent, completely ignoring the small amount of disgust he felt with himself for acting so submissive- actually feeling more relieved than anything. As he met those lips for the third time that night something clicked- a temporary surrender that caused him to pull his partner closer and part his lips.

His hands were in Lee's hair; which was fine considering that Lee's were roaming his back and he was now sandwiched against the door and the taller CSI's chest. He made a small noise into Lee's mouth when he grazed his lips down on his bottom lip and bit it gently.

When they pulled away for air he couldn't even get a proper gasp in before the mouth was brushing down his chin and kissing the part where his neck met his jaw. Tongue flicking out when he reached his collarbone. Strangely upon first meeting Lee, Gaara would not have believed him capable of being like this.

Hands were now on his hips put moving lower until they were on his thighs and then once they got under the bottom of his shirt they moved back up to meet the slightly cool skin of his stomach and abdomen. Before he could even register that Lee was unbuttoning his shirt he was preoccupied in another intense kiss.

He could feel the building heat that was driving him completely incoherent, and he felt frustrated with the hard wooden door behind him. He just didn't know how he was supposed to open the door and not make this look painfully awkward.

"We should…" His words hitched in his throat as the hands on his chest scraped past his nipple, "go…in…"

And as embarrassing as it was, Lee understood, opened the door so they could walk in the dimly lit room, and then proceeded to destroy every last inch of dignity he had left by picking him up easily with one arm around his waist. Before he could even protest he was lowered onto the bed and Lee was licking down his chest and…

Oh, god.

He arched slightly as Lee's tongue ran over his nipple again, and he nearly dug his nails into his shoulders, unsure what do to with his arms. He was trying to be careful, where the hell had the bastard cut him? The same warm hands that had been roaming his stomach trailed down and he could feel his thumbs tracing along his pelvic bones. He made that same small noise, and felt the heat growing exponentially; he was not supposed to be this _good_ at it.

He could tell what Lee wanted to take off and deterred him slightly when he reached down and grabbed at _his _shirt, he moved a little so Gaara could slide his hands up his chest to proceed to feel him and take it off in the same action. He felt himself blush a small bit when he trailed his hands up a perfectly sculpted set of abdominal muscles, sitting up to get the article over his head. He then threw it to the side and Lee was kissing him again. Not before he saw the bandage that hid the knife mark on hs side and the on further up on his chest.

He still had Lee's shirt on, undone. He was starting to feel the nervousness creep up on him when he thought about what was going to happen next and was attempting to fight it down.

The thought flew out of his mind, along with everything else, when Lee ground his hips down on the redhead's; sending stars in front of his eyes. He let out a breathy moan without being able to stop himself and he put his knuckles against his mouth as it happened again, trying to stop the next one. He was also struggling to not show how much more aroused he felt when Lee made a similar, albeit lower, sound.

"Lee…" he gasped out, drawing in another quick breath as he felt the mounting friction- he couldn't take much more of this.

At least he knew Lee wanted him the same amount Gaara wanted him. The thumbs hooking into his pants was probably proof of that, and he tried to preoccupy himself as Lee took off his sweats by kissing his neck the same way he had done to him.

He was glad Lee was able to move back to kissing him without abruptly halting; which would have caused the uncertainty to come crashing down upon the both of them. Now the mouth moving against his wasn't as urgent as before, he was moving slower. He was trying to calm him down… or something.

He felt the fingertips tracing down his stomach to his thigh, and he wasn't sure he was ready for it until the hand wrapped tentatively around him. He broke away from this kiss, feeling so strangely inexperienced and painfully aroused. He was breathing heavily as Lee stroked him, he moaned and gasped with every movement until he was sure he was doing to die from the embarrassment; hiding his face in his neck.

The movements picked up quickly, and he moved his hips with the ministrations jerkily as his arms wrapped around Lee's shoulders and dug into the skin there. At least now he knew the knife wound was further down.

"Ah…" He could feel the building release begin to hit its peak, "I'm…"

Lee didn't stop, and he cried out in a nearly mute voice when the wave came crashing down upon him, leaving his whole body feeling like an electrical current was dancing on top of his skin. He had arched his back again and threw his head back as he came into his hand.

Lee was watching him with this weird smile on his face, and he felt his own cheeks flame up. He grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him, hoping to wipe that stupidly sweet look off.

He also knew that Lee was still aroused, and he knew what he had to say. He kept his face close so hopefully he couldn't see how self-conscious he felt, "Lee, keep going…"

"Are-"

"Don't ask, just…" Gaara quickly cut him off and was about to say something when Lee seemed to move back into motion; kissing his chest and moving his hand down lower, letting the redhead feel it as he got closer.

He knew what he was using as a lubricant, and it didn't seem to bother him very much. He flinched when the first finger pushed in and then concentrated on relaxing and focusing on Lee kissing him gently in compensation. It was an alien feeling, one that he was trying to disregard. When the second finger entered he bit his lip and made a sound of discomfort as they moved inside, trying to stretch him. Then they moved out and went back in, and he began to feel a little pleasure; but the pain still outweighed it.

When he was sure he was finally starting to get used to the feeling the fingers left and he looked up into Lee's face as he moved himself to his entrance. They stared at each other for a few moments, and subconsciously the redhead reached up and touched the side of his partner's face in a tender gesture and half nodded. Lee smiled again, leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his lips before pushing in.

It wasn't quite what he was expecting. Much to his immediate horror his eyes teared up and he closed them hurriedly as he struggled to will them away. Lee waited until he started breathing again before he pulled out and pushed in again gripping his hand on Gaara's hip to support them.

It wasn't until the third or fourth movement but when he had pushed his hip to meet Lee's he felt a burst of pleasure that he wasn't expecting. He moved his hips up again and again to feel it, growing quickly addicted to it until they were both moving in a steady rhythm against each other. His voice seemed like it wasn't a part of him as he sighed into each thrust. He watched with half-lidded eyes as Lee came down to kiss him, then put his forehead to Gaara's shoulder.

One of his hands gripped onto Lee's forearm and the other fisted in the sheets. He felt the hand on his hip apply more pressure, and he felt the same feeling as before, knowing that Lee must have been feeling it too because he picked up speed.

He could feel his own arousal getting friction against Lee's stomach, and he wasn't sure who came first but as soon as he hit that moment he came spiraling down and didn't know about anything until they were both panting side by side.

He was too tried to have the whole 'revelation' thing dawn on him, and he was glad he didn't have to say anything. Lee, a little awkwardly, moved his arm as he turned on the side and pulled him closer so they weren't really sleeping on each other, but he could still put his arm under the pillow and effectively under Gaara's neck. Then draped his other arm over his waist, he angled his head so his chin was on top of the soft red hair and sighed.

"Night…" Murmured Gaara, feeling like an idiot for the whole four seconds until Lee repeated it back to him.

The gravity of the situation, thankfully, wouldn't really have to be worried about until the morning.

And what an awkward morning THAT was…

xXx

Ai: FML, I stayed up until 3 in the morning to write this… If it sucks I do not care… _Yeah_, rated M…  
Sin: You ACTUALLY f*cking pulled this shit _off_…  
Ai: Uh, yeah… It's not great, but I have had this idea for a YEAR, and since it was just Xmas… and I finally got around to writing it DOWN…  
Dedicated to: Kuri/Crim. I swore I'd never write another fanfiction for Naruto, but I think my first ever rated M should have been my first real OTP. And, well, I mean it is _our_ couple so… //hi-fives// This is for us.


End file.
